Eris' Favourite plaything (rhiannon_s) wrote in review_soapbox,
Eris' Favourite plaything
rhiannon_s
review_soapbox

300

I forgot I had this to review.

So, 300. It's a difficult movie to review. It looks awesome, it does, it's a visual treat. I wish more movies would go for the almost paint effect background. The thing could have been shot in oils on canvas. Gerard Butler seems to be turning into a young Sean Connery and has a very fearsome beard in this. There was a particularly scary wold at the start, which scared me to death, big dogs and dark places phobia.

But ultimately, there is not a lot of story. It's the story of 300 guys who are massacred after fighting off a much bigger army[1]. There is an attempt to pad it out a bit with the subplot on Leonidis' wife and her trying to convince the Sparan council and there being a wretched slimy traitor (I don't know if it was in the comic or not, never read it), but it does feel like exactly that, padding.

Whether you'll enjoy this movie or not depends, I think on whther you like your semi-mythical battle scenes. I enjoyed it, don't get me wrong, t's visually stunning, wonderfully acted and spot on directing and SFX. But plotwise it's a bit thin.

All the right lines were there tough.

Come back with your sheild or on it.

We shall fight in the shade

Throw down your weapons. Come and take them.

Go tell the Spartans stranger passing by ... .

And who can say no to several hundred almost naked guys who have been working out, a lot! I swear this will be gay porn and parts of it are very Homoerotic. I mean naked except for a cload and leather bannana hammocks? It shows how tough those spartans were, imagine all the chafing and talcum powder not been invented yet?

I give it a 8.5 out of 10. Well worth seeing.

[1] Technically I realise that is a spoiler, but if you need to be protected from 3thousand year old spoilers then you are probably the person that screamed at me when I mentioned the end of Romeo and Juilet.

They die by the way, in Titanic the ship sinks, in Apollo 13 they get back safely, in Zulu they survive, The trojans get beat by the Greeks, Bruce willis is dead all along in the 6th Sense, Darth Vader is Luke's father, Dumbledore is NOT Dead, Snape and Voldemort die in a titanic battle for Harry's soul in the last book and Voldemort sucks his soul out of Harry's leaving him Scarless and also magicless (but not Hormone less as the follow upseries about Hermione will detail), The Watcher was the Doctor all along[2], Jesus dies, but gets better, and Clark Kent is Superman (Ok, that last one is not a spoiler, but if you haven't guessed the rest then you probably need to be told because you'll have been fooled by a pair of glasses too).

[2]Ooh, that's an obscure one, can anyone guess the source?
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